SPORTS BARS

I remember when every holiday pub showed only fools and horses and fawlty towers. Now it is football football football and all at 180 decibels. Isn't there a bar owner in Tenerife that realises that some holiday makers might quite enjoy sitting down in a non smoky environment and not have to suffer the match, the replays, the analysis, the slow mo and the punters swearing like troopers when their side loses a goal.

LETS HAVE SOME NON SPORTS BARS FOR A CHANGE.

TIME SHARE TOUTS

Hoi Mate..............Like the Lookie Lookie men, can't these folks get the message when I say no?? "Are you english and nice?", "where you from then mate", "this isn't time share really", "do us a favour I get paid for everyone I send"....."No I am not english and I am certainly not nice to time share touts", "It's none of your business where I am from", "If it's not time share then how come you want to sell me two weeks holiday that I can take anywhere in the world?" and "get a real job like the rest of us and STOP ANNOYING HOLIDAYMAKERS"

LOOKIE LOOKIE MEN

No I don't want a rip off pair of sungalsses that look like gucci, oakley or marks and spencer. I amn't called del boy, don't want nine for the price of one, to buy now and pay later. It is not luvley jubbley and ASDA TESCO price (cheap as chips) does not impress me.

NEXT TIME I WILL WEAR A TEE SHIRT WITH "BOG OFF I DON'T WANT ONE" emblazoned across the chest

SPANISH MARKETS

Just Back from Holiday in Tenerife - that's why there haven't been any moans entered recently - where I got dragged round the local market. How can so many people be interested in so much junk. I cannot believe how many times I was bumped into, prodded hit by rucksacs and generally abused. If folks do have to go and see all this TAT then they should spare a thought for us poor sods that are there only to please their better halves!

RUDE FOLK

Why is the world becoming more rude. We seem to have lost or are losing our manners. As you walk down any street people collide with you and fail to say "sorry", doors are not held open and if you hold one open for someone else they never say thank you. Even if you have the audacity to smile at folks nowadays they look at you as if you have grown a second head.

Remember.......IT TAKES MORE MUSCLES TO FROWN THAN IT DOES TO SMILE

STOCK RELOCATORS

When you visit your local supermarket, do you ever wonder who it is that puts a lettuce in the shelf of biscuits, or the tin of tuna beside the washing up liquid? Who is it when they look at a loaf of bread decide they no longer want the bottle of ketchup and just lay it down where they stand.

Every time I go to the supermarket that person has got there before me. I now play a little game to see if I can spot where they have been. Surely, it doesn't take a lot of time to take unwanted purchases back to the shelves from where they were lifted does it?

Mind you I suppose the supermarkets employ some spotty faced kid to collect all the wandering stock and reunite it with it's brothers and sisters in time for the next stock relocator to come along and move it again.

If the spotty kid weren't needed then the supermarkets could save on their wages and pass on this saving to us the customers by reducing the price of the stock (YEAH AND PIGS MIGHT FLY!)

ICY ROADS

Why is it that despite lots of long range weather forecasts predicting sub zero overnight temperatures roads and pavements remain untreated until daylight. By which time the ice has started to thaw and the frost treatment is no longer required!!

I watched cars and people sliding all over the place last night

COME ON Mr ROADS MAN I WATCH THE WEATHER FORECAST AND TAKE PRECAUTIONS ----- WHY DON'T YOU?